People don’t open the
door for me; why should I do it for them?’
‘Aren’t there more
important things to worry about than saying “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse
me”?’
‘I don’t need to
show manners to my siblings. We’re family.’
Do any of those
statements sound like something you would say? If so, you could be
missing out on the benefits of showing good manners!
What you should know about manners
Good manners can improve
the following three areas of your life:
1.
Your reputation. How you treat people
makes an impression, for good or for bad. If you are mannerly, people will
likely view you as mature and responsible—and they’ll treat you accordingly! If
you are rude, however, people will conclude that you are interested only in
yourself, and you could end up being bypassed for employment and other
opportunities. As the Bible says, “the cruel person brings disgrace on
himself.”—Proverbs 11:17; footnote.
2.
Your social life. The Bible says: “Clothe
yourselves with love, for it is a perfect bond of union.” (Colossians 3:14) That is certainly true
when it comes to friendship. People are drawn to those who are mannerly and who
treat them well. After all, who would want to be in the company of someone who
is rude or obnoxious?
3.
The way people treat
you. “If
you are always polite,” says a young woman named Jennifer, “over time, you may
see improvement in the way even the most consistently rude people respond to
you.” Of course, if you are rude, you may get the opposite response. The Bible
says: “With the measure that you are measuring out, they will measure out to
you.”—Matthew 7:2.
The
bottom line: Social
interaction is a part of daily life. How you handle it can affect how people
view you and treat you. Put simply, your manners really matter!
How to improve
1.
Take a ‘manners
inventory.’ Ask
yourself such questions as: ‘Do I address adults respectfully? How often do I
say “please,” “thank you,” or “excuse me”? Am I distracted when talking with
others—perhaps even reading and responding to text messages? Do I treat my
parents and siblings with respect, or do I take liberties just because “they’re
family”?’
The Bible says: “In showing honor to one another, take the lead.”—Romans 12:10.
2.
Set goals. Write down three areas
in which you could improve. For example, 15-year-old Allison says that she
needs “to be a good listener rather than a good talker.” David, 19, says he
needs to work on not texting while with family or friends. “It’s
disrespectful,” he says. “I’m basically telling them that I would rather talk
to someone else than talk to them.” Edward, 17, says that he needs to stop
interrupting others as they speak. And Jennifer, quoted earlier, has resolved
to work on her manners with elderly ones. “I used to say a quick ‘hello’ and
then find a reason to move on to my young friends,” she says. “But now I’ve really
made an effort to get to know them. It has helped me to improve my manners a
lot!”
The Bible says: “Look out not only for your own interests, but also for
the interests of others.”—Philippians 2:4.
3.
Monitor your progress. For a month, track your
speech or conduct in the areas in which you want to improve. At the end
of the month, ask yourself: ‘How has my being mannerly made me a better person?
In what areas do I still need to improve?’ Set new goals accordingly.
The Bible says: “Just as you want men to do to you, do the same way to
them.”—Luke 6:31.
Did you know? What is considered mannerly in one land could be
considered rude in another. For example, in Japan it is customary for people to
remove their shoes before entering a home. In other lands, that gesture might
be considered impolite. What manners are expected where you live?
WHAT
YOUR PEERS SAY
Selena
“When you show
good manners, that’s usually the first thing people notice—and appreciate.
You’ll also feel good about yourself because you know that you are doing the
right thing.”
Megan
“If you’re unmannerly,
people won’t take you seriously. But if you act considerately, people will
treat you with the same respect that you show to them.”
LEARN MORE AT www.jw.org
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